Super Sales Rep.

They create a link.

There is always something unsettling about the smiles of sales reps. Unsettling because you never know if the smile is genuinely from the heart or some kind of bait. After a lot of observations I have come to learn that it’s nothing but a trap. A trap to indirectly lure one into something without having prior planning. Don’t you think it’s some kind of thievery in itself? Some level of conning, yah? Now, this sales reps…when handling male clients…are mostly female, beautiful female sales reps. Reason is, no man in his right senses would resist some attention from a gorgeous lady with a disarming smile.

Let’s say, you had a rough day at work. The Mpesa lady that you have had a crush on and have been trying to win hasn’t been showing signs of ever giving in. Three days ago you realised she hasn’t been showing up at her place, instead there’s this odd looking guy with an even odder looking Rasta Cap. In your mind you concluded he smokes bhang, because he also has the trademark bloodshot eyes. Your crush hadn’t given you her number so you don’t have a way to ask her where she disappeared. You are walking through the alleys trying to distract your mind with various items on glass display. Most of the shops have either some dude ringing a bell or some bevy of beauties inviting potential customers inside the shops. They are cheerful and adorning the cutest smiles. They could make you forget all your troubles and imagine you are super rich. You forget that your rent is due and the landlord had threatened to evict you because you have always paid rent late. Your cooking gas had ran out earlier in the morning. But still these ‘sweeties’ would make you buy a pair of shoes worth 7k, an equivalent of your rent for 3 months back in the ghetto.

Now, my story is different. I have a penchant for buying stuff online. At least for 4 years now. I’m so addicted to this that going into boutique to, say, buy myself a pair of shoe seems like an awkward thing. Recently on one of my shopscapeds, I had ordered for a customized pair of shoes from one of my contacts. It took weirdly long than I was accustomed to, I was almost giving up. I had been ripped off… It’s a risk one has to be ready for…the meagre 3k I had paid. Out of the wind, I get a call from a different dude informing me that he had a parcel that should be sent to me and wanted to confirm the shipping address before sending. It was slightly past midday. It was a busy day at work and I didn’t give it much attention.

Later that evening when I was back inside my ‘hut’ watching a movie, I remembered the phone call. Fiddled with my phone scrolling through its call log so that I could call back and ask if the mysterious guy had managed to send the parcel. On dialing, when the call finally connected to the other end, a female voice came through and I almost hang up. You know, one thing with me, I hate suprises. No, I loathe suprises. Akwardly, this female voice didn’t seem spooked at all. She was all calm, like she expected me to call. She sensed the skepticism in my voice somehow and introduced herself as Nancy. She knew about my parcel and that it had already been sent and I should expect it the next day. I was impressed.

I hang up and placed the phone back on the coffee table and let my mind replay that conversation. Feeding on the calmess in that voice, her voice. The usual sales reps thing. She was just being ‘professional’ if you understand what I mean.

The next morning I decided to pass by the courier office to check if indeed my parcel was due for pick up. Sadly, it wasn’t there yet. I was told to check the following day. Later in the day, Miss Nancy decided to call back to enquire if I had actually received my parcel, of which I informed her that I was told to go back the next day. There was some level of genuineness in her voice that I found intriguing. Somewhere in my heart I felt it was still ‘professionalism’. After I received the boots, she started asking if I still wanted to purchase anything else. Then I got a Gucci wallet. She sold me a Gucci jacket too. There and then, I knew I had to stop myself before I grew the wont of shopping every day of the month. There are times she could just check on me. She got me confused. I was right and I was wrong. I got to know her full name. Then she told me she was from NYERI. I assure you my phone almost fell off. I swallowed hard and convinced myself I was in no imminent danger. I felt my pants to see if my ‘member’ was present, and with a sigh of relief, it was there. Intact and unaware of my fears.

I am so happy to have known her. Made friends with her, at the time the country is polarized. As politicians are busy pitting tribe against the other, Nancy (A Kikuyu) and I (a Luo) are getting to know each other. We are doing what this country badly needs, breaking the shackles that bind us, tribalism. I Love this Nation. I love the diversity and the difference in culture. Nancy Wangu, thanks for being a SUPER SALES REP. The Best I ever met. Thanks for being a friend. A Kikuyu friend for that matter. It’s always an honor to do business with you.


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