“Ankole Cattle Threatens Ties Between Kenya and Uganda… “

Recently there was a diplomatic row concerning Ankole Bulls allegedly rustled into Kenya from our worthy neighbours, land of matoke, the land of Sebbos and Nyabbos… Most men wanted the spat to be solved and the bulls returned… Straining relationship with Uganda could be disastrous with most men eying the Nyabbos..


These are the Ankole Cattle I'm talking about...

Thankfully the bulls were found and returned, what a relief!!!

We were free to woo, we didn’t care about Migingo anymore, all we want is a Nyabbo, who will make you feel like a king, warm you bath water, help you change clothes, to hell with manzi wa Nairobi.

I also wanted to find myself one to hopefully settle down, Akello was now a mirage, I had to let go and look for her replacement, a nyabbo would do.

Lucky for me, I had a friend studying in the land of Matoke, studying in the once prestigious Makerere University. He had often praised them and this arose my desire even more. One day he called to inform me that he had found me a perfect match, and that I had to make an arrangement to travel to Kampala.

I was so excited about this, my prayers of settling down with a nyabbo was now becoming a full blown reality… You remember those days when Christmas was round the corner and your Dad had to make you step on a hard paper and then draw the outline of your foot, as he went to buy you shoes, you know that feeling when you are waiting for him to come back from the shop? That’s what I was going through…

Nyabbos were every Kenyan man’s dream, I guess they still are. Mine was ready, waiting for me. I had no idea how she looked like neither did I care, to me all Nyabbos were a symbol of beauty. A nyabbo was a nyabbo!

Without wasting time, I had some cash I always saved for emergency cases and this was one, I set off for my journey to the promised land.

On the bus, I could picture her. She was going to be so overjoyed to see me, she certainly must be dying to see me. I envisioned her. She and my friend waiting for me, she sees me and then runs foward to hug me with so much desire in her eyes. She was going to fall madly in love when she sets eyes on me…

From my village to Kampala was about 180km…

We had just gotten past Busia, Uganda, when I received a message notification that I was being welcomed into Uganda. My friend had earlier informed me to change my network settings to manual, had he informed everyone of my visit? I wondered. We quickly past through Bugiri and was fast on our way to Jinja, as I was informed by a woman who was sitted next to me, she was also a Kenyan but on a different mission, she was going to purchase vitenges. Soon we were past Mukono, a few kilometres from Kampala, so I informed my friend that I was about reaching.

When we arrived at the bus stop, I spotted my friend, he was there waiting but no company.

That didn’t matter now, I was already in the promised land. I was surrounded by nyabbos. I could now pick whoever pleased my eyes…

We headed for my friend’s place and soon after he left that he was going to the shop. A couple of minutes later he came back, he had company. A light skinned lady, cute eyes and she had this bright smile that illuminated the room when she came in, oh, she had dimples too. She was slim but sweet.

This was her. Ankunda was her name, she was a Munyankole. Jesus! Thank God the cattle had been brought back or she would have demanded them from me.

She didn’t know Swahili, only English, a bit of Luganda and Runyankole.

“You Kenyans, banange!” she would say amid giggles. From her body language, she was in sync.

I did not want to spend much time over there so the next day, we went to see her parents as is the custom, and inform them of my intentions.

I was in the company of my friend.

She had briefed her parents, so they were waiting when we finally got there. It was more of comittee, two old men and other close paternal relations as I later gathered. I felt so tense but the presence of my friend gave me some confidence.

We talked at length. Did I say talk! It was more of an interview.

I was  informed that if I wanted their daughter’s hand in marriage, I had to pay 20 Ankole cattle according to their traditions. There also had to be other formal negotiations with my family and later plan for a wedding…


These are the Ankole Cattle that caused me a nyabbo...

This was going to be a tough call me. TWENTY HEADS OF CATTLE!!!

Was I being charged for a crime I did not comitt?

Was it a sabotage plan? I felt this was more like it… The rustlers had tainted our image… Maybe I was a rustler. I wanted to take their daughter away,and that was my crime.

We left the place and travelled back, my hopes shattered. My dreams wasn’t valid after all. If it costs that much to have a nyabbo, how costly would it be take care of her!!!

It could take me ten years savings to afford such dowry… My hopes of ever gunning a nyabbo just died.

Maybe the government should just let go of Migingo, things could be much better.


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